Текстове на песни: Larry The Cable Guy. A Very Larry Xmas. Christmas Commentary.

Get a job, you bum bum bum bum
money dont grow on trees, you bum bum bum bum,

Silent Farts, Deadly Farts,
All was calm, Not for long,

Oh come on ye little forner C
ome and get them green cards
And learn some damn english and than how to drive

I wish my mother-in-law got Hit by a car
I Wish my mother-in-law got hit by a car
I Wish my mother-in-law got hit by a car
so I wouldnt have to hear her Bitch

Blue Balls, Blue balls
Its doller night, at the titty Club
See them Dance on my Pants, soon it will be bathroom time

You better watch Out I think shes a guy
I aint quite sure but somethin aint right

Janet reno?s comin to town

Donny the retard had an 8 pound water head
He was 5 foot 3 and he said to me
'My names donny?,

The First queir santa clause wore red leather chaps,
and a pair of white shorty sorts
that had a hole in the back,

I pissed my pants, the tolit was just to far
I Drunk to much damn Beer
I tried to hold it in, but my bladder just gave in
And I pissed right through my drawers
Riright through my Wrangler drawers,
I pissed
I pissed
Right my Wrangler Drawers